didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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