Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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