i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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