I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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