id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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