I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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