is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize