are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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