There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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