omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
