My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
