I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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