I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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