i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize