I love watching others lives come down to our level.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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