I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
