You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
