Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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