made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
