Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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