I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
