I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i think i have herpe
just one?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
