Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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