You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
