so that wasnt chicken after all
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
