You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize