just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
