I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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