Where did you get a picture of my penis
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
