Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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