I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
