it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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