I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize