what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
