I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
