I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
one two three fourrrrnication!
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Randomize
