we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
What drink are we having for lunch?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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