Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
