It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Your dad touched me again.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
