I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
