She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
