I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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