You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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