i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
