We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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