it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
