:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
