Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
