The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
