Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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