I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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