the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
