why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
