I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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