She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It's never too late to be topless.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
