lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
