I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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