So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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