I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Operation Purity has been aborted
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
