just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize
