Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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