Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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