I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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