I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
