Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
