I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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