Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
