that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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