he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
pray to the hookup gods
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
