I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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