Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
