420 ftw
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
