I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
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