We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
