Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
