just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
