i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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