O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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