I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
