There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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