I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize