i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
