We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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